Monday, December 15, 2008
RIP Black Hotdog
One of the cats that we have in our yard was run over during the weekend. Its a sad day for hotdog lovers everywhere.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Are movie theaters going the way of the dinosaur?
With the introduction of streaming HD media to game consoles and camera view torrents of movies, people have less and less incentive to go 'to the movies'.
Seriously, how much does it cost to go to a movie theater now? Let's do some research.
Adult (12 and up) $9.00
Child (Age 2-11) $6.25
Senior (65+) $6.25
Matinee (Before 5:30pm) $6.25
Tuesday Night Discount $6.25
For a family of four, it would cost
9x4 + snax(10 bucks) = 46 bucks + gas
for 2 hours of entertainment during prime time.
6.25x4 +snax(10 bucks) = 35 bucks + gas
for 2 hours of entertainment before prime time.
In the tough economic times, that's a lot of bling.
In contrast, let us run the numbers for netflix on the 360.
assuming you already have a 360, which most of us have, it would cost 9.99 for a whole months movies.
and running the numbers on a torrent
0 (but that's stealing, don't do that kids)
Seriously, how much does it cost to go to a movie theater now? Let's do some research.
Adult (12 and up) $9.00
Child (Age 2-11) $6.25
Senior (65+) $6.25
Matinee (Before 5:30pm) $6.25
Tuesday Night Discount $6.25
For a family of four, it would cost
9x4 + snax(10 bucks) = 46 bucks + gas
for 2 hours of entertainment during prime time.
6.25x4 +snax(10 bucks) = 35 bucks + gas
for 2 hours of entertainment before prime time.
In the tough economic times, that's a lot of bling.
In contrast, let us run the numbers for netflix on the 360.
assuming you already have a 360, which most of us have, it would cost 9.99 for a whole months movies.
and running the numbers on a torrent
0 (but that's stealing, don't do that kids)
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Art Levine: Dems in Congress Moving Now to Spy on Americans, Reward Telcoms - Politics on The Huffington Post
Art Levine: Dems in Congress Moving Now to Spy on Americans, Reward Telcoms - Politics on The Huffington Post
what the f is going on with this country.
douchebag politics rules all
what the f is going on with this country.
douchebag politics rules all
Friday, June 13, 2008
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Paul Begala: Hillary and Jackie - Politics on The Huffington Post
Paul Begala: Hillary and Jackie - Politics on The Huffington Post
Fundamentally flawed take on Hillary.
1. Jackie Robinson didn't cry racism when he struck out.
2. Jackie Robinson didn't move the outfield wall 50 feet closer when he hit a pop fly to the outfield.
3. Jackie Robinson's wife didn't compare sandy kofax to red Auerbach because they are both jewish.
Fundamentally flawed take on Hillary.
1. Jackie Robinson didn't cry racism when he struck out.
2. Jackie Robinson didn't move the outfield wall 50 feet closer when he hit a pop fly to the outfield.
3. Jackie Robinson's wife didn't compare sandy kofax to red Auerbach because they are both jewish.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I had to post this
watch it the whole way through. I wonder if they really believe what they say and practice what they preach, or just do it as a job to get money. or elected (presidential election 2004)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
White House Responds To Scott McClellan's Accusations - Politics on The Huffington Post
White House Responds To Scott McClellan's Accusations - Politics on The Huffington Post
more and more of these former bushies are coming out and owning these dicklickers
more and more of these former bushies are coming out and owning these dicklickers
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, April 07, 2008
Guest23043839519's guide to world dominance in Ikariam lol
Son of a tit, this failed the first time I tried to upload and I even fucking took the time to put bold on the titles. This is bullshit.
Anyways this is a guide so you can rape as much as me lol.
There are two limiting factors in the game: time and resources. You obviously need resources to build shit and you also need time for it to finish building. Resources you can control, time you cannot so in order to be grow your empire as fast as possible you always need to make sure that you have enough resources to be constantly building. You cannot generate resources fast enough from harvesting them yourself or trading, so you will have to pillage some fuckers, which is a lot easier than it sounds. So basically all you need to do is constantly build and expand while pillaging enough resources so you do not waste any time.
Guide 2 economy
Your economy is based on your citizens and will supplement your pillaging efforts. Your homos can do four things:
1) Research 1 science point/hour, costing -8 gold/hr
3) Farm 0.5 luxury resources/hour
2) Farm 1 wood/hour
4) Jerk off which apparently brings in 4 gold/hr in this game
Basically, you should max researchers, then max luxury farmers, then max lumberjacks and then let the rest jerk off for the following reasons. Research is the only thing you cant pillage so you will have to make as much as it as possible. Luxury items sell easily for 20 gold each, so a worker there can bring in 10 gold/hr, which is more than spooge which gets 4 gold/hr. Wood sells easily for 10 gold each so a lumberjacks are also more profitable than the people jerking off.
Don’t be afraid of having a negative income per hour because of your researchers. This doesn’t mean that you should get people jerking off to make 4 gold/hr. You should have a ton of excess resources from pillaging and farming, so just sell them when you don’t need them and gold will come in easily. Just make sure you don’t get down to 0 gold or the game will disband all your military units. Even if you're at -200 gold/hour it'll cost less than 5k gold for a day, which is easy to make from selling some crap.
To take advantage of all the resource farming you will need a good sized population, so you will need wine. Wine rapes lol. Your population cap is your current population + happiness, which means that every point of happiness will raise your population cap by one. A level three tavern adds 240 happiness at the cost 8 wine/hr. If we look at that in terms of numbers it means that you can get an extra 240 people jerking off which means 240x4 = 960 gold/hour. Wine you can buy from other players for 30 gold easily, 20 if you're patient so the most the wine will cost is 8x30=240 gold an hour, which is nothing compared to the money you're making from the spooge. Once you have a colony with wine, then you wont even have to buy it. If there's nothing in dire need of building, then just pump up your tavern and your town hall when you get close to the town hall population cap.
Guide 2 researching
Always keep max researches in your libraries and upgrade your academies as much as you can afford. I will be lazy and just say what research order I would use: well digging (happiness bonus in capital), conservation (warehouse), pulley, wealth (can farm luxury resource), dry-dock, maps, professional army (swordsmen for easy pillaging), wine press (tavern), deck weapons, ship maintenance, expansion (palace and colonies), foreign cultures (embassy). After that it gets a lot less interesting and you already have most things you need so who cares.
Guide 2 pillaging
So who do you want to pillage? Any f4gs that are dumb enough to not have any military units. It's kind of cheesy, but the game lets you know if a player has any military units or not. To check how big their military is go to Highscore (it's up near the top of the page of the game), select Generals and search for the player you want to check. If the guy has a score of 0, then he's pretty dumb and has no military units and is a perfect target to pillage dry. The score is based on what military units the player has. A slinger is 80 points, a swordsman is 158 points, a phalanx is 464 points and so on (http://board.ikariam.org/thread.php?threadid=15492 has all the unit scores). So if someone has a score of 358 then he probably has 2 slingers and a phalanx. Anyways, if you look within 1-2 radius around your town then there will most likely be a lot of people that will be completely undefended so you will not even have to risk losing units. If the player has a really high score compared to you or is in an alliance then you might want to move to the next undefended town, but other than that just go ahead and rape anything undefended dry since they're basically asking for you to take their shit.
Slingers are homo and if you attack with one then it'll will get raped by the town hall. So if you want to attack any undefended town with them, just attack with three of them. Damage is randomly distributed so there's a chance you wont lose any slingers. Once you have professional army researched just send one swordsmen to every undefended town and you will never lose a unit. You will want to rape any undefended city dry, so keep pillaging them until you no longer get any loot from them. An attack consists of 4 phases: getting to the city, the fight, loading up their resources, returning. To pillage them as fast as possible you should send another attack on them just after the previous attack has finished loading and are on the way back.
Eventually there will be few undefended town, so just find targets with a fairly low General score and throw out dispensable armies of swordsmen at them until they are undefended and pillage them dry. What you get from pillaging will far outweigh the resources you throw into the swordsmen. Bonuses from the workshop help.
Guide 2 not getting pillaged
Every so often you'll piss someone off or someone will try to prey on you and take your shit. It's pretty easy to make this a non-factor. First of all, there are a few ways to deter these homos from trying to attack you in the first place. The most obvious is having a decent Generals score will make them move to the next target. Being in an alliance will also scare some homos off. If you do get attacked and cant fend them off and trying to rape your resources then the easier thing to do is to completely destroy your trading port. How much they can pillage from you is based on the level of your that building. If your trading port is level 2 then they can take 600 resources per pillage, if you don’t have one, then they can only take 60 per pillage, meaning they will probably get bored and move on. So just destroy your gay ass trading port. (It can be a pain if you don’t have one though since trading between cities or other players can take hours and hours and it even delays your pillage loot coming in, so I usually leave mine at level 2.) If you actually want to defend yourself then just upgrade your wall to a high level and keep a bunch of phalanxes at home.
Guide 2 expanding
You want to expand fast to pump up your economy and make sure you have access to all luxury resources. Usually the game makes clusters of 6-10 islands together. I wouldn’t put my colonies all side by side, but instead on adjacent clusters. This gives you have many more close targets to pillage. Send over 3 swordsmen as well so you can start pillaging your new neighbors right away as well as enough resources to make starter buildings. The first buildings you will want to build up are the academy, tavern, town hall and warehouse. You can also make a level 1 trade port and trade post. Once the colony is pretty well established then you can build barracks, workshop, or whatever.
As for what resources to go for first, it doesn’t really matter all that much since you should be able to pillage/trade for whatever you need until you have a town on each resource. I would go for a quarry first if you don’t have one in your capital since it really sucks when you don’t have enough stone for a building and wastes building time. You don’t need a lot of sulfur to make a pillaging army, so just buy 100 sulfur for 2k gold, which is enough for maybe 5 swordsmen and after that you'll probably be able to pillage more sulfur than you need. Crystals don’t have that much use at the start of the game besides upgrading your academy. You might have to buy some crystal at the very start to get your academy to level 5, but after you start pillaging you'll have plenty to keep your academies upgraded. Crystals are more important later in the game when you can convert them into science points or use them for unit upgrades. Pillaging should give you enough wine to keep pumping up your towns, but it would be my next choice after marble.
Guide 2 random crap
- It is useful to get your town hall to level five which gives your town an extra action point so you can pillage three targets at once. Trading and shit also takes up action points, limiting your pillaging as well.
- Keep buying as many cargo boats as you need. There is no point in pillaging if you don’t have enough cargo boats to keep bringing the loot back. I had 10 boats pretty quickly.
- Don’t ignore your warehouses. Not only do they protect some base resources, but they raise the max storage. Wood can build up pretty fucking fast if you're pillaging 450 per attack and if your warehouse can only hold up to 3000 wood, then that will just go to waste.
- Build the annoying buildings that take 8 hours before going to bed lol.
Anyways this is a guide so you can rape as much as me lol.
There are two limiting factors in the game: time and resources. You obviously need resources to build shit and you also need time for it to finish building. Resources you can control, time you cannot so in order to be grow your empire as fast as possible you always need to make sure that you have enough resources to be constantly building. You cannot generate resources fast enough from harvesting them yourself or trading, so you will have to pillage some fuckers, which is a lot easier than it sounds. So basically all you need to do is constantly build and expand while pillaging enough resources so you do not waste any time.
Guide 2 economy
Your economy is based on your citizens and will supplement your pillaging efforts. Your homos can do four things:
1) Research 1 science point/hour, costing -8 gold/hr
3) Farm 0.5 luxury resources/hour
2) Farm 1 wood/hour
4) Jerk off which apparently brings in 4 gold/hr in this game
Basically, you should max researchers, then max luxury farmers, then max lumberjacks and then let the rest jerk off for the following reasons. Research is the only thing you cant pillage so you will have to make as much as it as possible. Luxury items sell easily for 20 gold each, so a worker there can bring in 10 gold/hr, which is more than spooge which gets 4 gold/hr. Wood sells easily for 10 gold each so a lumberjacks are also more profitable than the people jerking off.
Don’t be afraid of having a negative income per hour because of your researchers. This doesn’t mean that you should get people jerking off to make 4 gold/hr. You should have a ton of excess resources from pillaging and farming, so just sell them when you don’t need them and gold will come in easily. Just make sure you don’t get down to 0 gold or the game will disband all your military units. Even if you're at -200 gold/hour it'll cost less than 5k gold for a day, which is easy to make from selling some crap.
To take advantage of all the resource farming you will need a good sized population, so you will need wine. Wine rapes lol. Your population cap is your current population + happiness, which means that every point of happiness will raise your population cap by one. A level three tavern adds 240 happiness at the cost 8 wine/hr. If we look at that in terms of numbers it means that you can get an extra 240 people jerking off which means 240x4 = 960 gold/hour. Wine you can buy from other players for 30 gold easily, 20 if you're patient so the most the wine will cost is 8x30=240 gold an hour, which is nothing compared to the money you're making from the spooge. Once you have a colony with wine, then you wont even have to buy it. If there's nothing in dire need of building, then just pump up your tavern and your town hall when you get close to the town hall population cap.
Guide 2 researching
Always keep max researches in your libraries and upgrade your academies as much as you can afford. I will be lazy and just say what research order I would use: well digging (happiness bonus in capital), conservation (warehouse), pulley, wealth (can farm luxury resource), dry-dock, maps, professional army (swordsmen for easy pillaging), wine press (tavern), deck weapons, ship maintenance, expansion (palace and colonies), foreign cultures (embassy). After that it gets a lot less interesting and you already have most things you need so who cares.
Guide 2 pillaging
So who do you want to pillage? Any f4gs that are dumb enough to not have any military units. It's kind of cheesy, but the game lets you know if a player has any military units or not. To check how big their military is go to Highscore (it's up near the top of the page of the game), select Generals and search for the player you want to check. If the guy has a score of 0, then he's pretty dumb and has no military units and is a perfect target to pillage dry. The score is based on what military units the player has. A slinger is 80 points, a swordsman is 158 points, a phalanx is 464 points and so on (http://board.ikariam.org/thread.php?threadid=15492 has all the unit scores). So if someone has a score of 358 then he probably has 2 slingers and a phalanx. Anyways, if you look within 1-2 radius around your town then there will most likely be a lot of people that will be completely undefended so you will not even have to risk losing units. If the player has a really high score compared to you or is in an alliance then you might want to move to the next undefended town, but other than that just go ahead and rape anything undefended dry since they're basically asking for you to take their shit.
Slingers are homo and if you attack with one then it'll will get raped by the town hall. So if you want to attack any undefended town with them, just attack with three of them. Damage is randomly distributed so there's a chance you wont lose any slingers. Once you have professional army researched just send one swordsmen to every undefended town and you will never lose a unit. You will want to rape any undefended city dry, so keep pillaging them until you no longer get any loot from them. An attack consists of 4 phases: getting to the city, the fight, loading up their resources, returning. To pillage them as fast as possible you should send another attack on them just after the previous attack has finished loading and are on the way back.
Eventually there will be few undefended town, so just find targets with a fairly low General score and throw out dispensable armies of swordsmen at them until they are undefended and pillage them dry. What you get from pillaging will far outweigh the resources you throw into the swordsmen. Bonuses from the workshop help.
Guide 2 not getting pillaged
Every so often you'll piss someone off or someone will try to prey on you and take your shit. It's pretty easy to make this a non-factor. First of all, there are a few ways to deter these homos from trying to attack you in the first place. The most obvious is having a decent Generals score will make them move to the next target. Being in an alliance will also scare some homos off. If you do get attacked and cant fend them off and trying to rape your resources then the easier thing to do is to completely destroy your trading port. How much they can pillage from you is based on the level of your that building. If your trading port is level 2 then they can take 600 resources per pillage, if you don’t have one, then they can only take 60 per pillage, meaning they will probably get bored and move on. So just destroy your gay ass trading port. (It can be a pain if you don’t have one though since trading between cities or other players can take hours and hours and it even delays your pillage loot coming in, so I usually leave mine at level 2.) If you actually want to defend yourself then just upgrade your wall to a high level and keep a bunch of phalanxes at home.
Guide 2 expanding
You want to expand fast to pump up your economy and make sure you have access to all luxury resources. Usually the game makes clusters of 6-10 islands together. I wouldn’t put my colonies all side by side, but instead on adjacent clusters. This gives you have many more close targets to pillage. Send over 3 swordsmen as well so you can start pillaging your new neighbors right away as well as enough resources to make starter buildings. The first buildings you will want to build up are the academy, tavern, town hall and warehouse. You can also make a level 1 trade port and trade post. Once the colony is pretty well established then you can build barracks, workshop, or whatever.
As for what resources to go for first, it doesn’t really matter all that much since you should be able to pillage/trade for whatever you need until you have a town on each resource. I would go for a quarry first if you don’t have one in your capital since it really sucks when you don’t have enough stone for a building and wastes building time. You don’t need a lot of sulfur to make a pillaging army, so just buy 100 sulfur for 2k gold, which is enough for maybe 5 swordsmen and after that you'll probably be able to pillage more sulfur than you need. Crystals don’t have that much use at the start of the game besides upgrading your academy. You might have to buy some crystal at the very start to get your academy to level 5, but after you start pillaging you'll have plenty to keep your academies upgraded. Crystals are more important later in the game when you can convert them into science points or use them for unit upgrades. Pillaging should give you enough wine to keep pumping up your towns, but it would be my next choice after marble.
Guide 2 random crap
- It is useful to get your town hall to level five which gives your town an extra action point so you can pillage three targets at once. Trading and shit also takes up action points, limiting your pillaging as well.
- Keep buying as many cargo boats as you need. There is no point in pillaging if you don’t have enough cargo boats to keep bringing the loot back. I had 10 boats pretty quickly.
- Don’t ignore your warehouses. Not only do they protect some base resources, but they raise the max storage. Wood can build up pretty fucking fast if you're pillaging 450 per attack and if your warehouse can only hold up to 3000 wood, then that will just go to waste.
- Build the annoying buildings that take 8 hours before going to bed lol.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Gaming as a time filler
More and more, I am using gaming as a time filler while I am waiting for other things to happen or in a place with no other entertainment (The Sauna).
The DS is great for that, I just fire up mario kart or advance wars or tetris and play until whatever I am waiting for happens.
Sports games online are also good for this. I play madden/college hoops/pes 2008. The games last probably 1/2 hr to 45 mins.
What suffers, though, is the single player game. I really don't get into them. I really never have. If I am going to play, it is going to be a social experience, or a 10-20 minute stint. The only 2 games I have finished in the last 5 years were Resident Evil 4 and Mass Effect.
Needless to say, my wii has been sitting idle for a while. The online component really doesn't hold a candle to the 360 or even DS experience.
The DS is great for that, I just fire up mario kart or advance wars or tetris and play until whatever I am waiting for happens.
Sports games online are also good for this. I play madden/college hoops/pes 2008. The games last probably 1/2 hr to 45 mins.
What suffers, though, is the single player game. I really don't get into them. I really never have. If I am going to play, it is going to be a social experience, or a 10-20 minute stint. The only 2 games I have finished in the last 5 years were Resident Evil 4 and Mass Effect.
Needless to say, my wii has been sitting idle for a while. The online component really doesn't hold a candle to the 360 or even DS experience.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Cheese Dicks
Anyways, I am, oh let me check on www.hi-lol.com for the countdown. 34 days away from playing racquetball again. I really can't wait. I don't know if I can wait without hiding my racquets and or not going to the racquetball club.
Thats not going to happen lol. I will do yoga and get more flexible and strong and when I do come back, I hope it doesnt take too long to get back into the groove. There is this cheese dick kid that will be really good competition. He beat the piss out of me before I had the knee surgery. I really hope I can compete before the summer is over.
Both in outdoor 1 wall and indoor.
I only have 34 days to get my fat ass into shape. I gots some work to do.
Thats not going to happen lol. I will do yoga and get more flexible and strong and when I do come back, I hope it doesnt take too long to get back into the groove. There is this cheese dick kid that will be really good competition. He beat the piss out of me before I had the knee surgery. I really hope I can compete before the summer is over.
Both in outdoor 1 wall and indoor.
I only have 34 days to get my fat ass into shape. I gots some work to do.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
My recovery, My frustration
As most of the loyal readers of plb know, I had knee surgery in January. The fucking thing had cartilage torn off of the meniscus and the bone. The Dr took some out and also drilled into my femur.
It has been 2 months that I have been doing physical therapy, bike, and some hitting the racquetball. The knee feels ok, but still not 100%. And I am getting fat. I can feel the blubber piling on my stomach. its rly frustrating, since I am used to being in really good shape.
It is really hard not to get on the court now and play, but I have to resist. Maybe I should cut the strings out of my racquet.
Oh ya, I forgot to mention, I can't run either.
I have around 6 more weeks left of not doing anything but biking and getting fatter due to the extreme amount of baconators I am eating.
anyways your mom
It has been 2 months that I have been doing physical therapy, bike, and some hitting the racquetball. The knee feels ok, but still not 100%. And I am getting fat. I can feel the blubber piling on my stomach. its rly frustrating, since I am used to being in really good shape.
It is really hard not to get on the court now and play, but I have to resist. Maybe I should cut the strings out of my racquet.
Oh ya, I forgot to mention, I can't run either.
I have around 6 more weeks left of not doing anything but biking and getting fatter due to the extreme amount of baconators I am eating.
anyways your mom
Monday, March 10, 2008
NoFX At the Myth
So, it is the morning after one of the better punk shows I have ever attended. The show was at the Myth in Maplewood Minnesota, which is a brand new venue in a suburban mall type setting. I should have taken some pictures.
It all started out trying to find somewhere to park in the Myth parking lot. I got there about 2 hrs after the doors opened, and about 1.5 hrs before nofx played, so I thought I wouldn't have any trouble parking. Oh man I was wrong. All of the businesses close to the myth had no parking for non customers signs. fuck them. like anyone is going to go to toys r us at 11pm. bastards. I ended up parking across the street by macy's in the maplewood mall parking lot. About 1/2 mile away.
I got in there, and the lights were flashing blue. high bass music playing. I had a little time to kill so I did some observing. What the fuck is this. there were tons of couples there. they looked like they were early high school. Who goes on a date to a punk show. thats just dumb.
Another obervation: a ton of kids had jewfros. You know, white kids with curly assed long hair. A lof of those kids had knit caps. I thought that was a fad 15 years ago. I guess it is coming back.
No use for a name played. they were good. the pit was lively. They finished. people cleared out from the pit to take a rest. there was another break. I got beer spilled on me a couple times. douchebags.
Nofx came on stage. They played str8 Edge first. it was funny cause they were trashed lol. anyways then they played dinosaurs will die, which owned. Then the decline.
Everyone in the audience knew all the lyrics to all the songs, which was kinda cool, but also kind of annoying since everyone was singing to every song.
well anyways, it was a fun time, even though it screwed up my sleeping for the entire week.
Oh ya, fat mike pooped his pants. they had to take a 10 min break cause he had to change his drawers.
It all started out trying to find somewhere to park in the Myth parking lot. I got there about 2 hrs after the doors opened, and about 1.5 hrs before nofx played, so I thought I wouldn't have any trouble parking. Oh man I was wrong. All of the businesses close to the myth had no parking for non customers signs. fuck them. like anyone is going to go to toys r us at 11pm. bastards. I ended up parking across the street by macy's in the maplewood mall parking lot. About 1/2 mile away.
I got in there, and the lights were flashing blue. high bass music playing. I had a little time to kill so I did some observing. What the fuck is this. there were tons of couples there. they looked like they were early high school. Who goes on a date to a punk show. thats just dumb.
Another obervation: a ton of kids had jewfros. You know, white kids with curly assed long hair. A lof of those kids had knit caps. I thought that was a fad 15 years ago. I guess it is coming back.
No use for a name played. they were good. the pit was lively. They finished. people cleared out from the pit to take a rest. there was another break. I got beer spilled on me a couple times. douchebags.
Nofx came on stage. They played str8 Edge first. it was funny cause they were trashed lol. anyways then they played dinosaurs will die, which owned. Then the decline.
Everyone in the audience knew all the lyrics to all the songs, which was kinda cool, but also kind of annoying since everyone was singing to every song.
well anyways, it was a fun time, even though it screwed up my sleeping for the entire week.
Oh ya, fat mike pooped his pants. they had to take a 10 min break cause he had to change his drawers.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The Spread of Insanity
Sometimes even semi-capable people are susceptible to moments of momentary retardation. Yesterday a woman from the dental centre told me that one of their receptionists was having a baby. Her name was R-something, for some reason it didn't really sink in. Later, a spherically inclined woman came up with Ruvani on her name tag and I jumped the gun to ask if she was the one having a baby. She gave me this awfully self-conscious look and started tugging down her sweater. At that moment I clued in that her name tag said she worked for CAA. Not the dentist. And then I had to ramble about how, oh of course, she wasn't the one I heard about, no she doesn't even look pregnant, that's why I asked first because she doesn't look like she's going to have a baby... She doesn't think so either, that's why she keeps pulling her sweater down. Aaaagh....
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Being Sick
Being sick both owns and blows at the same time. Let me explain.
I started getting sick on Friday of last week. I was hoping I could stave it off with some supplements, but that didn't work. Saturday It got worse. Sunday was full blown. Monday was just as bad as Sunday.
I took Monday off. I spent the whole day watching movies on cable and eating chicken noodle soup. I watched Shawshank Redemption and bits and pieces of other movies I don't remember because I was in a fever induced delirium. That part owned. What blew is that I couldn't sleep cause I was coughing up a lung all day. It blew hard.
So being sick both owned and blew.
I started getting sick on Friday of last week. I was hoping I could stave it off with some supplements, but that didn't work. Saturday It got worse. Sunday was full blown. Monday was just as bad as Sunday.
I took Monday off. I spent the whole day watching movies on cable and eating chicken noodle soup. I watched Shawshank Redemption and bits and pieces of other movies I don't remember because I was in a fever induced delirium. That part owned. What blew is that I couldn't sleep cause I was coughing up a lung all day. It blew hard.
So being sick both owned and blew.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Catharsis!
I have some serious griefs with old women that must be related.
My first instinct is to say that I hate old women. I probably do. I'm not a hateful person though, and I would like to say that I don't hate anything, but damn it, sometimes I hate old women. They come every day and I know it will nothing but trouble, because there will be something wrong with what we give them. Or they'll get a penny less than they expected. The worst situation is when they walk up to the desk and simply have no idea what they're doing.
"What would you like miss?"
"I don't know."
I wish I could treat that like the emergency it really is. Call one of the administrators to our shop. "This is serious, she just wandered over here and she has no idea what she is doing. Confused and aggressive. That's right. Send help."
Lately I believe I have a sixth sense for cloudy minds. People I used to think were sane are blipping my radar now; mostly women. I feel a little bad because I group everything together as Insanity. If I were to keep a tally of the customers I serve daily, I have to say that 30% of them are not insane. I'm worried 30% is a generous number. I'm afraid to count because I think they might be tallied on both hands. The conversation is going blah blah blah, and I'm thinking, "This lady is out of her mind." Blah blah blah. Completely insane.
Today a woman asks me for the mocha turtle. I can make that iced or hot, but the drink of the day is the steamed mocha turtle. Still I hate to assume, so I pointed at our specials menu and asked, "A steamed mocha turtle?" She said yes and followed me down the counter to watch me make the drink. I measure the flavour shots and pour it into the espresso. When I'm finished steaming the milk she says, "This is not the iced drink, is it?" Is it? as in, she knows it isn't, but she let me make it anyway. Ridiculous. And later comes the an impossible order. Some miserable woman wanted a cappuccino without milk. I asked her if she actually just wanted espresso, or coffee, but she was dead set on this milk free cappuccino. I eventually got her to agree to lactose free, but it was the worst struggle over something so ridiculous. Writing it down like this makes me think I was over reacting. But she was pretty much Queen of the Confused that day.
I wish I could tell customers off sometimes. Say something like, "HOW DARE YOU WASTE SO MUCH OF MY TIME?" "YOU HAVE OUTLIVED YOUR USEFULNESS AND ARE NOW A BURDEN." That's what I think about at the low points of my day.
Otherwise things are fab, honestly.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Bigfoot Safari
I am seriously thinking of taking a couple of weeks vacation and trying to find bigfoot. I don't know where the best place to find bigfoot, but I have heard stories about bigfoot in:
Pacific Northwest
Texas
Southwest
Northern MN
According to BFRO.
Where do you guys think the best place to find a bigfoot/Chupacabra would be.
Pacific Northwest
Texas
Southwest
Northern MN
According to BFRO.
Where do you guys think the best place to find a bigfoot/Chupacabra would be.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Friday, February 08, 2008
Why do we hate work so much?
I blogged on this subject a while a go, but I think it is time to revisit this subject. Let me set the scene for you. I am at work now, blogging. I am kind of in between projects, and have to fix some bugs I need to think about, so I screw around doing other things til I get ideas.
I blog
I chat
I mess around with hi-lol
I talk on the phone with hammer or the russian (who is a douchebag)
I email
I chat with co workers
I used to work on pet projects in my down time, but that is just a waste of brainpower. A lot of the stuff I work on doesn't get used. Let me run some numbers for you.
410 distinct reports I have worked on and put into production in my 10 years here. We just started keeping track of the usage recently (around 3 years ago).
in the past year, 185 reports were run at least 20 times. (I picked 20 as the arbitrary number, because we have been going through an upgrade recently and been running reports to test them).
50%+ of the work I do is wasted. That is some great motivation.
Also, A lot of my time is consumed with re runs of ad hoc queries because people change their minds on what they want.
No one wants to go to work, but it is for different reasons. What are your reasons? please comment.
I blog
I chat
I mess around with hi-lol
I talk on the phone with hammer or the russian (who is a douchebag)
I email
I chat with co workers
I used to work on pet projects in my down time, but that is just a waste of brainpower. A lot of the stuff I work on doesn't get used. Let me run some numbers for you.
410 distinct reports I have worked on and put into production in my 10 years here. We just started keeping track of the usage recently (around 3 years ago).
in the past year, 185 reports were run at least 20 times. (I picked 20 as the arbitrary number, because we have been going through an upgrade recently and been running reports to test them).
50%+ of the work I do is wasted. That is some great motivation.
Also, A lot of my time is consumed with re runs of ad hoc queries because people change their minds on what they want.
No one wants to go to work, but it is for different reasons. What are your reasons? please comment.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
My first blog! lol
Soooo, hi. I'm new lol.
My name is Heather and as Frec said eariler I live in Canada (but not canadian!). I've been a barista for too many years and currently a manager of a cafe located in what seems to be a haven for crazies, tards, and old people. Holy crap the crazies. I get pee in the pansters, squish faces, tards that scream "TIT!" while pointing at my boobs, old farts telling me we are charging too much for coffee and that it should be 5 cents a cup, etcetc.
Normally once I'd get home, the days stories would be wasted on people like my husband and answering Frec's IM's of "any tards??????". Not anymore, thanks to hi-lol.com. I'll going to start sharing the gems on the poop blog, but I won't be doing it alone. A coworker and friend, Susanne, will be getting in on this with her own updates and additions of our awesome customers (yesterday, a 173 year old guy hit on her with a golden line of "....and I'd like a side of you on toast.") lol.
While its winter now and there won't be as many tard stories b/c the little bus just can't make it in the snow, there will be plenty of old people that have no other place to go cept to walk in circles around the mall, and our abundance of crazies that always seem to slip by our amazing mall secuirty guards.
My name is Heather and as Frec said eariler I live in Canada (but not canadian!). I've been a barista for too many years and currently a manager of a cafe located in what seems to be a haven for crazies, tards, and old people. Holy crap the crazies. I get pee in the pansters, squish faces, tards that scream "TIT!" while pointing at my boobs, old farts telling me we are charging too much for coffee and that it should be 5 cents a cup, etcetc.
Normally once I'd get home, the days stories would be wasted on people like my husband and answering Frec's IM's of "any tards??????". Not anymore, thanks to hi-lol.com. I'll going to start sharing the gems on the poop blog, but I won't be doing it alone. A coworker and friend, Susanne, will be getting in on this with her own updates and additions of our awesome customers (yesterday, a 173 year old guy hit on her with a golden line of "....and I'd like a side of you on toast.") lol.
While its winter now and there won't be as many tard stories b/c the little bus just can't make it in the snow, there will be plenty of old people that have no other place to go cept to walk in circles around the mall, and our abundance of crazies that always seem to slip by our amazing mall secuirty guards.
Vinnee's lard watch
Well, it is going on 3 months I haven't been able to do any significant work outs. Last week I started biking again, but that isn't really cutting it. I have gained close to 10 lbs of pure and total blubber. LOL. Anyways I will be keeping track of my lard ass here, make sure to stay tuned next month when my ass will be as fat as stand's head.
LOL
LOL
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
PLEASE WELCOME Heather! LOL!
She lives in Canada and is a barista to a bunch of old ppl and has stories 2 tell LOL. Heather is also a webmaster of hi-lol. Her nights are consumed with pokemon and playing drums in our 'rock band' band: 'Is it 5 yet LOL!'
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!
GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!
Vista Blows Ass
So the wife and I just got a new laptop, A dell xps. It really is a decent machine, but with a piss poor operating system.
We got it home about the time I had knee surgery 3 weeks ago, fired it up, waited, waited, waited. FINALLY the god damn thing booted up. I tried to keep it up as long as I could, but the battery only last so long.
The next day I tried to make it faster by shutting off all of the bullshit services that load in vista automatically, and it made it a bit faster. However, I must have shut something off that had to deal with sound, because sound didn't work for a while til the wife turned sound services back on.
Could you imagine if some newb ass user bought this laptop and tried to use it. Chaos and Anarchy would ensue.
My OS of choice right now is Ubuntu Linux. It is really easy to use, I really don't like messing with a lot of stuff with computers to get them to work the way I want to. I will do it, but it is not my favorite thing to do. Ubuntu, right out of the box, did what I wanted it to do. Browse the web, Ipod, play music, chat. It runs very fast on my 4 year old machine (or is it 5).
We got it home about the time I had knee surgery 3 weeks ago, fired it up, waited, waited, waited. FINALLY the god damn thing booted up. I tried to keep it up as long as I could, but the battery only last so long.
The next day I tried to make it faster by shutting off all of the bullshit services that load in vista automatically, and it made it a bit faster. However, I must have shut something off that had to deal with sound, because sound didn't work for a while til the wife turned sound services back on.
Could you imagine if some newb ass user bought this laptop and tried to use it. Chaos and Anarchy would ensue.
My OS of choice right now is Ubuntu Linux. It is really easy to use, I really don't like messing with a lot of stuff with computers to get them to work the way I want to. I will do it, but it is not my favorite thing to do. Ubuntu, right out of the box, did what I wanted it to do. Browse the web, Ipod, play music, chat. It runs very fast on my 4 year old machine (or is it 5).
Monday, February 04, 2008
Anyways Patriots are a bunch of pussies
Lol what do you do after a crushing defeat? if you are the pussy ass patriots you don't go to the pro bowl and lick your wounds in the dark.
Both Randy Moss and Tom Brady aren't playing in the exhibition. What a bunch of pussies.
Use this defeat as motivation to kick the shit out of the rest of the league, not an excuse to skip it.
Both Randy Moss and Tom Brady aren't playing in the exhibition. What a bunch of pussies.
Use this defeat as motivation to kick the shit out of the rest of the league, not an excuse to skip it.
LOL I AM BACK
Well For my fanboys out there who have been checking this blog daily for updates I have some news for you. Poop Laden Blog is not affiliated with www.hi-lol.com. You can get here by typing http://plb.hi-lol.com.
Updated on me since the last blog post?
Well I had knee surgery and I am out of racquetball until at least April. I am totally digging No More heroes on the Wii, Call of Duty 4 on the 360 and Rock band on the 360.
also, some of my rb buddies have xbox 360s now
mcrib069
gizmo9216
boumer13
I cant remember who else LOL
Updated on me since the last blog post?
Well I had knee surgery and I am out of racquetball until at least April. I am totally digging No More heroes on the Wii, Call of Duty 4 on the 360 and Rock band on the 360.
also, some of my rb buddies have xbox 360s now
mcrib069
gizmo9216
boumer13
I cant remember who else LOL
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