pizza is good

Donald Rumsfeld is rape

Coloring owns

Coloring owns

How to survive a zombie attack

Kathy Griffin Owns

Shoot 'Em Up - Ian's Review

The Single Most Greatest Action Film Involving Guns. I thought when I read the plot that it was going to be shitty but it turned out to be incredible. The gunfights were constant and somehow never seemed to be boring after the first few. Not kidding, atmost 5 minutes into the film there was a murder and then a huge gun-fight.

The plot is that this Mr. Smith(Clive Owen) sees this pregnant lady being chased by a guy and decides to help her out. He gives birth to her child and then the rest of the movie hes figuring out why Paul Giamatti is trying to get a hold of this baby by all means necessary.

Somehow through this movie they made a good plot without being too cheesy and the gunfights were AMAZING. I loved this movie and I gave up Kill Bill Vol. 1 being the best action film to this movie. Its awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

Anthrax

http://view.break.com/336984 - Watch more free videos

Another zombie movie????

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! - Add to Friends!

Congrats to Heze and his Girlfriend!

Congrats to you 2! What are you going to name your baby?

ps. The picture is not Heze's baby but I'm sure it will be that angry anyway.

Code Monkeys: Fucked up shit

OMG

Chipmunks... ruined

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2007/07/alvin_and_the_chipmunks_poster.php

This poster has destroyed my childhood with the chipmunks. They are not rappers or gangbangers, they are jolly high-pitched chipmunks living in our world. WHY DID THEY RUIN THEM?!

Transformers!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeMUlSe1sjM

I wish i had costumes like these.

Ruud/Brooks gets it (**1 bad word** THE BADDEST WORD)

Anyway, I wrote on a post on the VN Boards about how John Q made me cry and then Ruud sent this IM to me through gmail/Google Chat. Anyway I totally owned him and he walked right in to my trap. There hasnt been a post in awhile so I thought i'd make things interesting.

Mike Gravel 2008

I think this guy is my favorite candidate now. Watch the videos.

Frec likes RB, I like fishing

so here are my rape fish from today:

6 pounds 2 ounces (largemouth bass)


3lb 7oz (also largemouth bass)




i caught another rape 3lb one but i didnt take a picture of it

Wired: Best Thought Experiments

Some of these thought experiments are funny enough for me to blog on, Monkeys, balls, turtles and demons.

Illustration by Mark Matcho

Start

Previous: Giant Light Boxes the Answer to Museum's Underground Expansion

Next: Wired-Tired-Expired

1. Galileo's balls
Contrary to what your teachers told you, Galileo Galilei likely did not drop balls from the Tower of Pisa; he conducted the gravity experiment in the laboratory of his mind. His 16th-century peers believed heavier objects fell faster than light ones. So Galileo imagined a heavy ball attached by a string to a light ball. Would the light ball create drag and slow the heavy one down? Nope, he concluded, they would hit the ground simultaneously.

2. Schrödinger's cat
A cat is trapped in a box with radioactive material, a Geiger counter, and a mechanism rigged to release poison if particle decay is detected. According to Erwin Schrödinger, the cat exists in two probable states. But that doesn't track with reality (cats are not both alive and dead). Proposed in 1935, the postulate illustrates that some quantum concepts just don't work at nonquantum scales. Also that Schrödinger was a dog person.

3. Searle's room
A man sits alone in a room. Someone slips paper with Chinese writing on it under the door. The man doesn't read Chinese, but with a set of instructions he's able to manipulate the symbols and respond. To an observer, the man appears to understand the language. Philosopher John Searle devised the scenario in 1980 to make a point about computers. CPUs, like his man, lack comprehension and thus can't have humanlike intelligence.

4. Hawking's turtles
The 1988 book A Brief History of Time begins with the story of a scientist giving a lecture on astronomy. At the conclusion of his talk, a woman insists he's wrong: Earth is a flat plate carried on the back of a giant turtle. The scientist asks what the turtle is standing on, and the woman says, "It's turtles all the way down!" Stephen Hawking used the story to caution fellow cosmologists against piling one unproven theory upon another.

5. Einstein's light beam
When he was 16, Albert Einstein daydreamed about chasing after a beam of light until he caught up to it. At that point, young Einstein reasoned, the light wave would appear frozen. The problem: This was impossible according to the thinking back in 1895. Somehow, this little glitch led Einstein right to the theory of special relativity. Lost? Don't worry. Physicists still debate exactly how this mental exercise got him there.

Illustration by Mark Matcho

6. Borel's monkeys
Variations go back to Aristotle, but the modern version of the infinite-monkey theorem was introduced in 1913 by French mathematician Émile Borel. You know the deal: An infinite number of monkeys pecking at typewriters for an infinite length of time will "almost surely" produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Seems unlikely, because our minds have a hard time grasping the infinite. Mathematically, it's true.

7. Maxwell's demon
In 1867, James Clerk Maxwell pictured two chambers, A and B, each filled with gas at the same temperature and with a door between them. Theorists later had a demon open the door (without doing any work) to let the fastest-moving molecules pass from A into B, and the slowest from B to A. Over time, the speed of the atoms (and therefore the temperature) increases in B — a violation of the second law of thermodynamics.

Illustration by Mark Matcho

8. Parfit's teleporter
Philosopher Derek Parfit is famous for basing thought experiments on sci-fi. In 1984, he envisioned a teleporter malfunction, like the one that made two James T. Kirks in an episode of Star Trek. Teleporters annihilate every particle in you, then rebuild them from scratch. What happens if the original isn't destroyed? Which is the real you? Parfit says both. Evil Kirk would disagree.

More RB

John and Me playing RB

Daily show owns

No it didn't

I got a letter from puffy Saturday. It seems his douchebag rommate was sharpening toothbrush handles and hiding them in the vent. The punishment for being the roommate of the cock gobbler is 20 days in the hole. Puffy spent all 20 days in the hole. Solitary confinement, segregation, I wonder what puffy did alone in his cell all day. He probably pooped like 10x a day.

Anyways, I think this experience in 'pound me in the ass prison' has changed puffy for the better. He said he was goign to get in the best shape of his life (I dont think it would be that hard, since he has always been a fat ass) and play awesome racquetball when he gets out of jail. nov 08.

I will be almost 36 when he gets out. we have known each other for 10+ years. we have had a love/hate relationship in those years. we both are douchebags, but not as much as stand is a douchebag.

balls

this blog went and died again

All hell just broke loose lol

Ya, it thunderstormed just now. It was awesome. I wish every day could be a thunderstorm day. Maybe one of those days my office building will get tomatoed.

Jack Handy

28 Weeks Later

I just saw this movie and i have to say, this was an awesome movie. If you loved the first one (28 Days Later) you will love this one. I was skeptical about the new director but he did everything fine. The only problem i found was during intense scenes the cameraman was all shaky so you could barely see any eating. But other than that this movie had everything you dream of. Running zombies, car chase scenes, explosions, gassing and lots of blood.

Now that i have you hooked, heres the story to lead you in:

Britain is finally clear of the virus and the U.S. Army have one majorly guarded and quarantined area that they are trying to make livable. In the quarantined area there is a Medical Lab where they conduct tests on how to cure the disease or immunize people if the virus comes back and the U.S. Military have a huge presence guarding the whole area (i.e. snipers, choppers and heavy machine gun nests). This airplanes drops off the passengers and the movie gets interesting (there is a small lead-in before this part which is cool)

This movie was really wicked but kind of had a predictable ending (will not give it away). It kept me hooked at the start trying to figure out how it gets respread and then the rest of the movie was awesome kill scenes and zombies(not really zombies since its actually a virus) while trying to figure out how the group is going to survive. Oh and there is a lot(and i mean a lot) of BOO times with the raging zombies.


Another problem was there wasn't a big fat british guy in a SWAT outfit crowbarring zombies.

Hammy

I am icing my hammy now, anyone else have any injuries? lol?

I found this link and thought of foxflight

2000 Cats

Maybe Canada isn't so bad after all

Here is a link Tony sent me, about some Canadian politician who is trying to get Bigfoot protected so it doesn't go extinct. Normally I like to make fun of any and everything Canadian but they just went up a notch in my book.

"The debate over their (Bigfoot's) existence is moot in the circumstance of their tenuous hold on merely existing," reads a petition presented by Lake to parliament in March and due to be discussed next week.

"Therefore, the petitioners request the House of Commons to establish immediate, comprehensive legislation to affect immediate protection of Bigfoot," says the petition signed by almost 500 of Lake's constituents in Edmonton, Alberta.

A similar appeal has been made to the US Congress.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070502/od_afp/canadauspoliticsanimaloffbeat

565 429 Solve this Puzzle

if someone can solve the puzzle of 565 429 they get a cookie

Spiderman 3 Blows

There might be some spoilers, I dunno. Read at your own risk. Stand is gay.


My main problem was that these 2 were the main villains --





Eric Foreman from That 70's Show and Lowell from Wings. Both of them are pretty goofy in general and their faces are so identifiable with stupid humor to me, it is hard to get into the mindset of them being the bad guys in a $250 million movie. Not just that, Sandman (Lowell) was just lame. Boo hoo, your daughter is sick so you wanna rob banks. What a novel concept. Half the time when he turned into a 100 foot sand blob he sounded like a T-Rex, like what the hell. What a stupid choice to make him the 'main' bad guy too. Venom had way more potential to be a good bad guy. Unfortunately it took like an hour and a half or so for them to even introduce Venom. My second biggest Venom complaint was they didn't even have his badass tongue! That's bullshit. That's the coolest thing about him.

I thought Harry's character was probably the best thing about the movie, although they did give him two of the cheesiest lines ever, such as "I defended you in high school, but now I'm gonna kick your little ass!" In the middle of a fight no less. I had my head in my hands. Other than that he was good though. Jonah Jameson also raped, even more than in the first two.

When Peter turns into the bad black Spiderman, he also apparently turned into the new lead singer for My Chemical Romance, complete with emo haircut and faggot attitude. It also seemed like they spent 10 solid minutes on him walking down the street pointing at everyone who he passed and thrusting his pelvis at them (for the record everyone who walked past him just so happened to be a super model). It really made me hate him, which is I guess the point, but I hated him because he was an emo looking fag, not for his 'arrogance' or whatever was supposed to come across. At least he beat Mary-Jane in this form, that got a pretty big "Ooooh!" out of the audience.

I am pretty tired or else I'd write more. I give Spiderman 3 a 2/5.

A Map of the Internet

Mario On Shrooms???????????

hot lesbo sex

-


hahaha

Bruce Wilson

Here's a pretty funny clip shown live during a basketball game - some dipshit sportscaster spots (a very drunk) Bruce Willis in the crowd but introduces him as Bruce Wilson.

Bruce goes on to cuss on live TV, haha. Yippe kay ye mutherfucker

Politicization of traumatic events pisses me off

Earlier today Fort Bend Now wrote a follow up to this story. I have blogged it on For Evil Residents here.

There's the background, here is my rant:

Ever since 9/11 politicians have figured out the best way to gain votes is to instill fear into the hearts of the people they represent. Bush did it with his stupid assed terror scale. Where has that scale gone? I haven't seen it since, well, since he was trying to get re-elected. On the national stage, this practice has been commonplace, but in local politics, this is the first time I have seen it.

These assclown school board members, not caring if the student implicated in the crime is punished or not, boycott a meeting to discuss the case. They are trying to delay the hearing until the elections are over May 12.

But while Smelley called the special meeting, as required by district policy, he and three other board trustees failed to show for the meeting. That left Magee, Bryant, Trustee Lisa Rickert and Superintendent Dr. Timothy Jenney to face about 120 members of the local Chinese community who had packed the board room to show support for the boy’s mother.

...

“You’ve got a president who knew the vote was going to go against him” and stayed away from the meeting to prevent that vote from occurring, he said. “That’s not his privilege.”

Smelley didn’t want to see the school administration’s disciplinary action overturned, Magee said, because he believed it might win votes for Rickert in her race against board challenger Bob Broxson.

“You need to think about the kid first, no matter what your politics are,” Magee said of Smelley. “If you’re against it, vote ‘no,’ but bring your butt to the meeting.”

Smelley dismissed Magee’s statements, saying, “I’m trying to stand up and do what’s right, and follow the (disciplinary) process. And the process is being expedited.”

For political figures, getting re-elected is the #1 thing on their corrupt little minds. They lie and cheat until they get that office, then they lie and cheat to keep the office. If fear enters the equation, then it is a bonus power up! This is why the political system doesn't work. How do we fix the system? Easy.

1. Take money out of the equation.
2. Term limits.

HOGZILLA!

You heard it here first, Hogzilla is the premise of a new film. You can read the entire article here.

As fans of Cryptozoology, Brooks and I are glued to the TV screen whenever Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster, Chupacabra or Almas are featured on National Geographic. Hell, I have a Holy Grail-like coffee cup of the legendary Chupacabra. Spreading the word of the Chupacabra, I routinely give away mementos. As a gift I gave Pork Chop a Chupacabra tee shirt and Meaty a Chupacabra bib. They loved them to no end.


Hey Brooks look!

Lithium Productions says the production will need 200 locals for extras and is hosting tryouts next month.

"We don't need professional actors," Trimm said. "We need real people who are interested in the movie."

I want to see you in it.

Stand getting mad at the government

Here is Stand complaining about a helicopter stalking him.

Work: The worst place in the entire world

Work is full of ass-kissing ball lickers that make our lives miserable. We all sit at work hoping and praying that some day we will either win the lottery or our office is blown over by a tornado. Man that would own.

Fridays in the spring are the best-est, cause I take them off. The wife loves NBC and left it on after she went to work, so I am subjected to The Today Show. what do I see? Some douchebag spouting off about work. Balls. I almost turned it off cause I didn't' t want to think about my stupid assed job.

I continued watching. This asshole was selling a book It's Called Work for a Reason!: Your Success Is Your Own Damn Fault. Campbell Brown, who happens to be in her mid 30s like me, was asking questions and trying defend some of the slacking we all do at work.

She asked the Kojak look a like about taking work home, and working longer hours. The dude said, its your fault for not doing your work while you at work.

She also asked him about idiot bosses, he said deal with it. You deal with it Cock Gobbler. Part of the problem with work is the poor management that plagues all facets of our stupid jobs. Shittiness works from top down, not the bottom up, assclown.

Campbell asked him about making personal copies at the copy machine or using postage stamps that are available at work. He said if you aren't getting paid for it, don't do it. Does that mean if someone asks me to do something that's not in my job description I don't do that either? It doesn't work like that Mr. Clean.

He used as an example your dad, when he went to work, he worked, he wasn't concerned if he was happy or not, he just worked. I don't know about you guys, but my dad hated every day of his thankless factory job. He did it because of the paycheck. He complained.

Some people DO treat work as social hour, errand running, checkbook balancing no work time, but as long as you get the work in your job done, I don't see a problem with it.

Falcons draft

Well my hopes for the draft got killed when the stupid ass Redskins took Laron Landry at #6. I wanted him really bad, and they should've taken D-Line. But I think we did alright.





At #8 we took Jamaal Anderson, DE from Arkansas. He looks pretty good from what I've seen and we needed a DE after Patrick Kerney sold out and left for a big payday. Him and John Abraham will be a good combo for a long time if Abraham can stay healthy, which is unlikely. At least now we won't have 2 undrafted players at DE like last year when both Kerney and Abraham were hurt.





At #39 we took OG/OT Justin Blalock from Texas. I really like this pick being a Texas fan. He is a guy I like and he fits our needs perfectly. He is huge and we needed to beef up our O-Line and has experience at tackle and guard. He will probably be our left guard. He is really smart too, he had one of the highest Wonderlic scores at the Combine. That's good because Atlanta has a lot of dumbasses. Rich McKay (Atlanta GM) said in the press conference yesterday that he was trying to trade back into the first round to take Blalock but luckily he fell to the 2nd.






At #41 we traded up a few spots to take Chris Houston, CB from Arkansas. Most places had him rated as the third best corner in the draft, so I guess again it's good value in the 2nd round. Drafting him means we are going to move Jimmy Williams to safety. He was our first pick last year and there has been constant debate about whether he's better suited to play FS or corner. Now he will easily win the FS spot from Chris Crocker, who is a SS who was played out of position last year and it cost us. Stand could probably cover deep better than him. Williams excels in coverage. Back to Houston, he is sorta small at 5'9 or 5'10 but most scouts say he is the toughest corner in the draft. It's about time we got another decent corner, because aside from Deangelo Hall we haven't had a decent #2 corner for a while. Jason Webster sucks something awful and Allen Rossum is even worse. Kevin Mathis was a good nickel back but he broke his neck and probably won't play again.

Overall I am really happy with the first 3 picks. After that, I think we've had a shitty draft.

In the 3rd round, we took Laurent Robinson, a WR from 1-AA Illinois State. Being a fan of 1-AA football, I'm not knocking it, but I dont understand picking him with some good linemen on the board that we could use desperately. Rich McKay also blows at drafting WRs.

In the 4th round, we took Stephen Nicholas and Martrez Milner. Nicholas is an OLB from South Florida and Milner is a TE from Georgia. We are really deep at OLB and TE so I don't really get either of these picks when we have holes that need to be filled. I don't know too much about Nicholas but Milner blows. His hands are terrible, and thats the last thing we need in Atlanta. Hopefully he is going to be an H-back or something where he can block in the running game.

For our 5th round pick, we traded it to Jacksonville for 3 6th rounders. Now we have 4. I'm pretty mad because with the 5th pick we could've had Josh Gattis who went 1 pick after when ours woulda been. We need safety depth. Also Mason Crosby, the kicker was there. I want him, because we've been using stop gaps for a few years since Jay Feely left, but he blew too so he was essentially a long stopgap.

Our first two rounds were an A+, since then maybe a C+ or B-.

Frec getting owned

¤17:21¤ frec - I gotta be honest I hate the metroid like jumping puzzles
¤17:21¤ ian - lol
¤17:22¤ ian - thats because you suck at them
¤17:22¤ frec - ya
¤17:22¤ frec - ask raiha
¤17:22¤ frec - I am jumping retarded
¤17:23¤ ian - i rape the 2d side-scroller metroids
¤17:24¤ frec - the metroid primes are the ones I was talking about
¤17:24¤ ian - ya
¤17:24¤ ian - those ones suck at jump because its FPS
¤17:24¤ ian - third person is easier
¤17:25¤ frec - side scrolling
¤17:25¤ frec - ya
¤17:25¤ frec - in 3d
¤17:26¤ frec - and with people shooting at you
¤17:26¤ ian - metroid prime isnt a side-scroller
¤17:26¤ frec - its not a fps either
¤17:26¤ ian - ya it is
¤17:26¤ frec - no
¤17:26¤ ian - ya
¤17:26¤ frec - no
¤17:27¤ ian - ya
¤17:27¤ frec - you shoot liek 3 people a level
¤17:27¤ frec - thats not a fps
¤17:27¤ ian - First Person Shooter
¤17:27¤ ian - you're in a first person view
¤17:27¤ ian - and you shoot things
¤17:27¤ ian - therefore its a FPS
¤17:27¤ frec - gay
¤17:27¤ ian - doesnt matter how many things you shoot
¤17:27¤ ian - its still a FPS


that'll teach him to classify games wrong

Premiership Round-up

Here's a summary of what happened in the Premiership today, it's getting down to crunch time and every result is important.

The table today started out like this:

1. Man Utd 34 Played 26 W 4 D 4 L 82 Pts
2. Chelsea 34 Played 24 W 7 D 3 L 79 Pts

Both teams played early games, United against Everton at Goodison Park and Chelsea at home to Bolton.

United made it hard on themselves, going behind early on an Alan Stubbs goal in the 11th minute. It took a big deflection off Michael Carrick, or else it would've been saved easily. You would expect United to come out and score first in the second half if they had any chance to win, however that was not the case. Manuel Fernandes scored a great goal 5 minutes in and things looked bad for United.

That was until the smacktard stand-in keeper for Everton dropped a simple corner at the feet of John O'Shea who poked it in and made it 2-1. A few minutes later United had another corner, this time Ronaldo got to it and headed on goal, but the ball was bouncing around the 6 yard box and eventually former Manchester United player Phil Neville knocked it into his own net trying to clear, 2-2. About 10 minutes from time, Wayne Rooney scored a good goal to give United the lead. Then he jumped up and down in front of the Everton fans kissing the badge on his shirt. That is awesome because he used to play for Everton and he once wore a shirt under his jersey that said "Once a Blue, Always a Blue" and kissed his badge frequently. Now he's at United and he pretty much slapped all of them in the face, which is awesome, because Everton fans are faggot-asses (not as bad as the other team on Merseyside). And just to seal it, Chris Eagles scored a very neat finish in stoppage time to make it 4-2. It was pretty surprising, because he's been around forever and he hasn't looked promising for at least the past 3-4 years. I actually thought he was out on loan until a week or two ago when he was in the squad for the CL game. If someone like Drogba or Rooney had scored the goal he did it would've gotten a lot more praise.

Basically it looked like United had thrown it all away, but they came back and had a phenomenal second half and showed what champions are made of.

I don't know too much about the Chelsea game, except they dropped points at home, which was unexpected and a great boost to United's title hopes. Saloman Kalou scored once and had another which I think went down as an own goal that he forced. He's pretty good, he's one of the only players I like on Chelsea. He rapes every time he comes on but faggot Mourinho won't start him. Which is good I guess, for me anyway. Kevin Davies, who I hate, scored Bolton's equalizer that cost Chelsea 2 points. I hate him a little less now.

Now, the table looks like this with 3 games to go:

1. Man Utd 35 Played 27 W 4 D 4 L 85 Pts
2. Chelsea 35 Played 24 W 8 D 3 L 80 Pts

They play each other in 2 weeks at Stamford Bridge, which probably won't mean as much as it would have if Chelsea won today. Next week Chelsea play Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium, which is a really tough game. Arsenal have only lost there once this season in all competitions and that was just a few weeks ago. I think they will draw 2-2.

United plays Manchester City next week, which is never an easy game seeing as it's the Manchester derby, but I think United is playing too well to lose right now, plus Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic and maybe even Gary Neville will be back. I think 3-1 United.

Later, I will write about the developments in the relegation battle, which is really heating up.

NFL draft

1. Jamarcus Russel - OAK big QB with a rocket arm and good speed.
2. Calvin johnson - DET haha another fricken WR

Patriots got owned

I am so glad the patriots lost. Bill Bellichick bends the rules to the point that he almost cheats.

goal line on the 50
5 wrs on the goal line
WR at DB
rushing 2 and dropping 9 into coverage.

The NFL has to make thier rules more exact to keep this guy from exploiting loopholes in the system.

anyway I am glad manning is going to a superbowl, his commercials are awesome.