is it 5 yet

lol

Catharsis!

I have some serious griefs with old women that must be related.

 My first instinct is to say that I hate old women. I probably do. I'm not a hateful person though, and I would like to say that I don't hate anything, but damn it, sometimes I hate old women.  They come every day and I know it will nothing but trouble, because there will be something wrong with what we give them. Or they'll get a penny less than they expected. The worst situation is when they walk up to the desk and simply have no idea what they're doing.

"What would you like miss?"

"I don't know." 

I wish I could treat that like the emergency it really is. Call one of the administrators to our shop. "This is serious, she just wandered over here and she has no idea what she is doing. Confused and aggressive. That's right. Send help." 

 Lately I believe I have a sixth sense for cloudy minds. People I used to think were sane are blipping my radar now; mostly women. I feel a little bad because I group everything together as Insanity. If I were to keep a tally of the customers I serve daily, I have to say that 30% of them are not insane.  I'm worried 30% is a generous number. I'm afraid to count because I think they might be tallied on both hands.  The conversation is going blah blah blah, and I'm thinking, "This lady is out of her mind." Blah blah blah. Completely insane.

Today a woman asks me for the mocha turtle. I can make that iced or hot, but the drink of the day is the steamed mocha turtle. Still I hate to assume, so I pointed at our specials menu and asked, "A steamed mocha turtle?" She said yes and followed me down the counter to watch me make the drink. I measure the flavour shots and pour it into the espresso. When I'm finished steaming the milk she says, "This is not the iced drink, is it?"  Is it? as in, she knows it isn't, but she let me make it anyway. Ridiculous. And later comes the an impossible order. Some miserable woman wanted a cappuccino without milk. I asked her if she actually just wanted espresso, or coffee, but she was dead set on this milk free cappuccino. I eventually got her to agree to lactose free, but it was the worst struggle over something so ridiculous. Writing it down like this makes me think I was over reacting. But she was pretty much Queen of the Confused  that day.

I wish I could tell customers off sometimes. Say something like, "HOW DARE YOU WASTE SO MUCH OF MY TIME?" "YOU HAVE OUTLIVED YOUR USEFULNESS AND ARE NOW A BURDEN." That's what I think about at the low points of my day.

Otherwise things are fab, honestly.

Monk e mail

oh man this site is probably the sweetest thing ever. Make your own and post them here.

Monk E Mail

Bigfoot Safari

I am seriously thinking of taking a couple of weeks vacation and trying to find bigfoot. I don't know where the best place to find bigfoot, but I have heard stories about bigfoot in:

Pacific Northwest
Texas
Southwest
Northern MN

According to BFRO.

Where do you guys think the best place to find a bigfoot/Chupacabra would be.

BOFH

I am getting a chuckle out of the BOFH. I wish I were bastard enough to do some of the things he does. Early 90s computers own.

Why do we hate work so much?

I blogged on this subject a while a go, but I think it is time to revisit this subject. Let me set the scene for you. I am at work now, blogging. I am kind of in between projects, and have to fix some bugs I need to think about, so I screw around doing other things til I get ideas.

I blog
I chat
I mess around with hi-lol
I talk on the phone with hammer or the russian (who is a douchebag)
I email
I chat with co workers

I used to work on pet projects in my down time, but that is just a waste of brainpower. A lot of the stuff I work on doesn't get used. Let me run some numbers for you.

410 distinct reports I have worked on and put into production in my 10 years here. We just started keeping track of the usage recently (around 3 years ago).

in the past year, 185 reports were run at least 20 times. (I picked 20 as the arbitrary number, because we have been going through an upgrade recently and been running reports to test them).

50%+ of the work I do is wasted. That is some great motivation.

Also, A lot of my time is consumed with re runs of ad hoc queries because people change their minds on what they want.

No one wants to go to work, but it is for different reasons. What are your reasons? please comment.

My first blog! lol

Soooo, hi. I'm new lol.

My name is Heather and as Frec said eariler I live in Canada (but not canadian!). I've been a barista for too many years and currently a manager of a cafe located in what seems to be a haven for crazies, tards, and old people. Holy crap the crazies. I get pee in the pansters, squish faces, tards that scream "TIT!" while pointing at my boobs, old farts telling me we are charging too much for coffee and that it should be 5 cents a cup, etcetc.

Normally once I'd get home, the days stories would be wasted on people like my husband and answering Frec's IM's of "any tards??????". Not anymore, thanks to hi-lol.com. I'll going to start sharing the gems on the poop blog, but I won't be doing it alone. A coworker and friend, Susanne, will be getting in on this with her own updates and additions of our awesome customers (yesterday, a 173 year old guy hit on her with a golden line of "....and I'd like a side of you on toast.") lol.

While its winter now and there won't be as many tard stories b/c the little bus just can't make it in the snow, there will be plenty of old people that have no other place to go cept to walk in circles around the mall, and our abundance of crazies that always seem to slip by our amazing mall secuirty guards.

Vinnee's lard watch

Well, it is going on 3 months I haven't been able to do any significant work outs. Last week I started biking again, but that isn't really cutting it. I have gained close to 10 lbs of pure and total blubber. LOL. Anyways I will be keeping track of my lard ass here, make sure to stay tuned next month when my ass will be as fat as stand's head.

LOL

PLEASE WELCOME Heather! LOL!

She lives in Canada and is a barista to a bunch of old ppl and has stories 2 tell LOL. Heather is also a webmaster of hi-lol. Her nights are consumed with pokemon and playing drums in our 'rock band' band: 'Is it 5 yet LOL!'

GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!

Vista Blows Ass

So the wife and I just got a new laptop, A dell xps. It really is a decent machine, but with a piss poor operating system.

We got it home about the time I had knee surgery 3 weeks ago, fired it up, waited, waited, waited. FINALLY the god damn thing booted up. I tried to keep it up as long as I could, but the battery only last so long.

The next day I tried to make it faster by shutting off all of the bullshit services that load in vista automatically, and it made it a bit faster. However, I must have shut something off that had to deal with sound, because sound didn't work for a while til the wife turned sound services back on.

Could you imagine if some newb ass user bought this laptop and tried to use it. Chaos and Anarchy would ensue.

My OS of choice right now is Ubuntu Linux. It is really easy to use, I really don't like messing with a lot of stuff with computers to get them to work the way I want to. I will do it, but it is not my favorite thing to do. Ubuntu, right out of the box, did what I wanted it to do. Browse the web, Ipod, play music, chat. It runs very fast on my 4 year old machine (or is it 5).

Anyways Patriots are a bunch of pussies

Lol what do you do after a crushing defeat? if you are the pussy ass patriots you don't go to the pro bowl and lick your wounds in the dark.

Both Randy Moss and Tom Brady aren't playing in the exhibition. What a bunch of pussies.

Use this defeat as motivation to kick the shit out of the rest of the league, not an excuse to skip it.

LOL I AM BACK

Well For my fanboys out there who have been checking this blog daily for updates I have some news for you. Poop Laden Blog is not affiliated with www.hi-lol.com. You can get here by typing http://plb.hi-lol.com.


Updated on me since the last blog post?

Well I had knee surgery and I am out of racquetball until at least April. I am totally digging No More heroes on the Wii, Call of Duty 4 on the 360 and Rock band on the 360.

also, some of my rb buddies have xbox 360s now

mcrib069
gizmo9216
boumer13

I cant remember who else LOL