FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (From Xorthill) NOT FROM ME

For Immediate release:

Bitches need a be hot an recognize

It has come to my attention lately, well more like the first day I started, that there really aren’t enough attractive women working in my office. To many times I see overweight high school dropouts who think real estate is their way to the big time. I’m not saying that being a high school dropout is a bad thing, in fact I like women like that, they will believe almost anything I tell them and lying to women is fun. My only concern is that they are fat or ugly or both. Come on ladies, god gave man, I repeat MAN the right to be fat and ugly not you.

That is why I believe my office should institute a policy of only hiring attractive women. You may wonder, but what if they aren’t the most qualified? The truth is that women aren’t smart enough to do most tasks anyways and are only hired to keep the hippies and lesbians happy. Men obviously do all the work; why else would we get paid more. It’s a woman’s job to keep the glass ceiling clean, its men’s job to bust through it so a woman can have something to do by sweeping up the glass. Think I’m lying? Then why hasn’t there ever been a woman president? Its obvious, to be president you have to be a dick … with some balls.

So please women, the next time you are thinking about applying for a job answer a couple of questions first.

Are you hot? Is a man going to get this job because he will do a better job than you? Are you really so selfish as to report sexual harassment to the proper authorities when it could hurt your company?

In the end breaking down the barriers between the sexes is as small as breaking down your personal barriers, both emotional and panty. If you ladies stay hot you’ll never be over looked for a promotion again. You wont’ get it but at least you will get looked at, especially walking away, or from the side, or from below.

editors note: press release gets /5 choads