What should I have for lunch

vote in the comments

madden 2007

Last week I received my copy of madden 2007, since tuesday I have played 23 games, I am 10-13. I have lost like 5 in a row. Turnovers are so key.

Anyway. I like the game, it takes some getting used to. The timing is different from 2006, there is no vision cone, etc.


Tomorrow is our touch football team's 2nd practice. I am the QB for our team. I have to learn how to make pre-snap reads and throw to different people different ways. I think I will be facing a lot of zone, so I think we should practice in a zone tomorrow. I cant gun the ball to people with small hands elway-like. my knee feels great, I ran about 4 miles yesterday. it wasnt my knee that was the weak part, it was my lungs. I need to run more to cut some wieght and get faster.



there was a racquetball tourney this weekened in sun prarie wisc. I didnt attend, simply beacause I am not in tourney shape yet. A kid I play with played A's and Won the tourney. thats great, because he has been in the can for 2 years prior to this summer.

hopefully this gives him the confidence and tourney experience to own me and to make me better.

Another installment of Dirt is a Genius

My Bowel Cycle

Every day at 6:30 I make coffee, I drink 2 cups. By the time I am finished with the 2nd cup, my bowels feel like they r going 2 explode. I run to the bathroom at 7:00 and lay some wolfbait and then I take a shower.

I wish I had a cat like this

Irish beer bong

I want 2 do this 2 stand lol

Vikings preseason game #1 vs Oakland

Preseason is for newbs and scrubs, but that didnt stop me from watching the whole damn game. it was so boring in parts, cause a lot of people playing have no business being on an NFL team.

Anyway Highlights

1. offense. no turnovers, ran the ball

2. defense, got pressure and turnovers.

3, t-jack. looked like a right handed mike vick

lowlights

1. special teams

2. brad johnson's noodle arm. hes a quality qb, with a sub par arm.

3. greenway's knee injury, sucks for a dude that just came out of college, but he has plenty of time to rehab.

4. mewelde moore playing on 3rd team? I think he is the vikings best back.


childress is a hard ass and tomlin knows how to play defense. it looks like it is going to be an exicting year for the purple.

Want some gumballs lol

VOD 8/14

stand got owned by a grandma here

I'm Confused, Help me out

why is this video a national story. It happens every day. Did the dad go to CNN and ask to be interviewed? Leave Comments and we can discuss why this is a national story

rf2

Dead Rising: sweetest game I have played in a while

Stupid Terrorist Plot

Geraldo

Wii Launch Games

V For Vendetta

Leibermans delusions he is mainstream

Bush spinning the terroristic plot to make his hick ass look better

Evil dead:2 Boring

Stand being back

Extreme Douchebag Geraldo rips daily show vod 8/10

Gerado Rivera, the same douchebag that went into some dead guys tomb, one of the original jerry springer talk show douchebags,gave away troop deployment plans in iraq war part 1, and now Bill O'Rielly's best friend rips the daily show in this clip

get hit by a chair in the nose more, newb

also mentioned in the douchebag squirting at the mouth was Olbermann of msnbc. Olbermann responds with this clip.



there you have it 2 for 1 video of the day.

Stories of my youth

One time I was sitting at the table eating hot dogs. I was doing something like making fart noises with my mouth. My mom said stop that. I kept doing it. She threw a ketchup bottle at me.

The End

microsoft is awesome vod 8/9

8/8 video of the day

video gets my choad seal of approval, 5/5 choads




stand got burnt lol

video of the day 8/7

I think stand got pwnt by a girl lol

new choad test

I hate these kind of yahoo messages:

[12:21] imnotusuallythislutty: hi... anyone thrre?

[12:21] *** Auto-response sent to imnotusuallythislutty: I am currently idle.
[12:21] imnotusuallythislutty: oh your there :) hi...



[12:21] imnotusuallythislutty: a/s/l (agee sex location)?

[12:22] imnotusuallythislutty: im 27/f/USA. waas lookin at your profile. thought you might like to chat.


[12:22] imnotusuallythislutty: so what have you been up to viinneeee?

[12:24] imnotusuallythislutty: cool. i was just hangin oit watching tv. i was getting kinda horny :) (*blushes)

[12:25] imnotusuallythislutty: feel like a little cyber fun with me ? please pleease...

video of the day 8/6

Look I am causing trouble again on vn

watch me make an emo cry here

notable quotes:

Foxflight: You are going to make him cut himself

and

Foxflight:he's going to carve a crucifix with tears on his forearm

Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episode VOD 8/5

part 1



part 2

Rapid Fire Review Friday

every friday I will give 1 line choad reviews. here is the first installment of RF²


/5 Stand: Really lame toolbox that thinks he is clever and is really quite boring.


/5 NCAA football 07 for Xbox 360: Choppy graphics, unresponsive controls and poorly impelmented netcode.


/5 Always Sunny in Philly: I watched a couple of eps of this last night. Funny as hell. danny devito has a hit on his hands. one memorable scene: old guy putting fingers in a girls mouth and she pukes.

/5 Condi Rice's Efforts in the middle east: At least she is over there and not stuffing her face with balogna sandwiches or giving the German prime minister a creepy back rub. 1 choad for result +2 choads for effort.

/5 Shark Week On the discovery channel: Less bull and tiger sharks and more great whites please. and maybe throw a megaladon in there.

/5 Work This week: It really really blows


/5 My Racquetball Playing this week: Playing really well, -1 choads for consistancy.


/5 My Bowels I think Have pooped at the same time every morning for 3 years in a row. is that a record?


/5 Swamp Balls Summer Swamp balls sucks but +1 choads for the chuckle I get from saying swamp balls.

/5 Mel Gibson: its nice to see a douchebag like this burn in his own self righteous bullshit.


/5 Comedians of Comedy: Great idea to get the comics out of comedy clubs and into indy/punk rock venues.

video of the day 8/4/06

The Southpark guys werent far off


he is a fricken psycho, just like stand

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (From Xorthill) NOT FROM ME

For Immediate release:

Bitches need a be hot an recognize

It has come to my attention lately, well more like the first day I started, that there really aren’t enough attractive women working in my office. To many times I see overweight high school dropouts who think real estate is their way to the big time. I’m not saying that being a high school dropout is a bad thing, in fact I like women like that, they will believe almost anything I tell them and lying to women is fun. My only concern is that they are fat or ugly or both. Come on ladies, god gave man, I repeat MAN the right to be fat and ugly not you.

That is why I believe my office should institute a policy of only hiring attractive women. You may wonder, but what if they aren’t the most qualified? The truth is that women aren’t smart enough to do most tasks anyways and are only hired to keep the hippies and lesbians happy. Men obviously do all the work; why else would we get paid more. It’s a woman’s job to keep the glass ceiling clean, its men’s job to bust through it so a woman can have something to do by sweeping up the glass. Think I’m lying? Then why hasn’t there ever been a woman president? Its obvious, to be president you have to be a dick … with some balls.

So please women, the next time you are thinking about applying for a job answer a couple of questions first.

Are you hot? Is a man going to get this job because he will do a better job than you? Are you really so selfish as to report sexual harassment to the proper authorities when it could hurt your company?

In the end breaking down the barriers between the sexes is as small as breaking down your personal barriers, both emotional and panty. If you ladies stay hot you’ll never be over looked for a promotion again. You wont’ get it but at least you will get looked at, especially walking away, or from the side, or from below.

editors note: press release gets /5 choads

Video Game Review: Fifa World Cup xbox 360 5/5 CHOADS!

Fifa world cup 2006 for the xbox rated a 5 out of 5 on my new scale. The Choad scale. The choad scale will be the standard in which I review games/movies/stupid crap that stand says.

fifa world cup is the 2nd soccer offering from EA since launch. It features all of the favorites from the world cup, Brazil, England, Italy are all there.

I spend most of my time online in this game, if your connection is good to your opponent, the game plays smooth. once in a while you will get someone downloading canadian dog porn and the connection will be terrible. You know his connection is bad in the team selection screen. if it takes you 2 seconds to change teams, it is time to exit the game.

The controls are responsive, the graphics: realistic. Replayability is endless. Most importantly, with sports games, it is always nice to see a game without any exploits, and this is one of them.

saints row again

To progress through Saints Row's story mode, you have to earn respect, which can be achieved either by completing story missions or by taking part in various (mostly illegal) activities. Respect works in much the same way as experience points do in role-playing games, and every time you level up you'll unlock the next tier of story missions. We're not sure exactly how many different activities there are in the game at this point, but there's certainly no shortage of things to do, and there appears to be plenty of variety. The first activity that we put our skills to the test in was a "snatch" mission, which tasked us with rescuing prostitutes from abusive pimps. The next, and almost certainly our favorite right now, was an "insurance fraud" mission, where we were able to earn a decent amount of money by deliberately throwing our guy under moving vehicles and making sure that there were pedestrians in the area to witness it.

man saints row looks awesome. I played the demo, and it is really fun going around and stealing hos from abusive pimps.

I just found this today 8/3/6

The multiplayer modes in particular sound very cool. Big Ass Chains mode has players killing each other and then stealing the bling off of the bodies. Take the bling to a jewelry store, fence it, and get money. The first team to a certain score is the winner. But the best of all modes has to be Protect the Pimp. I'll leave it to you to figure out the objective, but this is the important part: the pimp is controllable and has the "Bitch Slap" ability, which is a one hit kill. That's got to be the best idea ever.

xbox 360 and the burger king?

the best marketing idea since subservient chicken by burger king is here
and here
can you imagine 13 year olds like newbcakes saying 'I just owned you with the burger king' in a game like halo? I can and it sounds fun as hell.